;; I want you to notice when I'm not around.

I've made up my mind.

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:11:15 GMT

lais_mendes has moved to bangflip

Make the necessary arrangements if you so wish. ♥

THIS JOURNAL IS NO LONGER ACTIVE.

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 03:09:31 GMT

edit: wrong community.

anyway.

*makes a poll for potential new username*

....okay, i hate livejournal. i do everything wrong. dhjkt

OKAY I HAVE A CHOICE BETWEEEEEN:

bangflip

or

glashma.

What one should I pick? Or do you have any other ideas?

new layout, new profile, new comm, new me

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 17:32:35 GMT

i think i'm going to make a new livejournal. i just realized this.

To better fit a new layout, I was going back through all my old posts to edit my tags, getting rid of them and whatnot. And I realized how much I've changed and I don't like the old me...I just made a new fanwork community that I can post everything to, it's not like this LJ matters much anymore, I can copy+paste my interests and profile (which has a new header, by the way~).

10 minutes ago, I was freaking out about which layout to get and I was overthinking everything. I didn't want my layout to make me seem bitchy or cold or whatever, which led me to thinking "hey, stupid, it's the internet, what do you care what people on the internet think anyway." and i just...I really freaked out. I haven't slept much the past two days so my mind is completely wonky.

It would be too much of a hassle to delete all my old entries, this paid account ends in August anyway...I can redo my icons, use that Lelouch moodtheme. I'm starting to join new RPs, writing better, feeling different...

fgjkt I'm going to start over.

It already feels good.

I'M SORRY NEW F-LIST MEMBERS, I THINK I HAVE ONE OR TWO. I'M USUALLY HAPPY AND NOT BITCHY i think. fdjgk >:

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 00:06:51 GMT

*flops on qeepii musebox thing* every place i go to is dead. qeepii is the only one capable of living and i have to write.

but...

Guys, I can't write.

Someone do something.

*WORKS ON FIc*

ANYONE HAVE ANY DREAMS LAST NIGHT?

CHEST SLAMS

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 08:22:10 GMT

I HAVE A NEW AIM.

"huWAH"

ADD ME? :D

No more news on the car. :i

I spent my entire day on Tegaki, mostly on the Japanese site. I saved what must be about 40 MB worth of fanart now. I can upload it if anyone is interested. It's mostly Lelouch but it has some other Geass stuff, Edgeworth, and some Ouran. ♥

Again, if anyone's curiosity was provoked by Ledgeworth, Nicolle and I had a nice little thread over at the musebox today. those interested can go HERE. ...I don't know, it's just my favorite thread now. They never get to relax. Even at the musebox. :c ...and yes, lulu got drunk with kaoru in today's drinking post at KC and they went to Toy 'R' Us. They passed out or something near the bike racks but Ashton and I's plan was to ride the bikes around the store, which would have been epic. Almost, but not quite, as epic as Light and Lelouch songthreading Never Gonna Give You Up. You heard me right. lfdmfo we didn't do it right or something cause it feels bland to me but the concept of it is what makes me so amused.

seriously though today was so boring and i just feel like telling someone. *flops into bed*

nngh

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 19:15:33 GMT

Code Geass is going to be the death of me.

*sobs over Turn 13*

Also, I'm going to a Weird Al concert today at 4:30 hey?!

OH RIGHT. ASHTON POSTED MY NAME AND I DIDN'T KNOW AND I'VE BEEN MEANING TO LINK IT UP BUT I NEVER UPDATE SO HERE.

☆ THE LOVE SPARKLE MEME ☆

nani mai hani

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 03:37:33 GMT

♡ the 『feel good』 anonymous meme ☆ﾐ

Yeah I gave in. :i

Anyway, I started thinking and I realized that I've been in a bad mood as of late. So if I usually talk to you and I haven't been my usual self, it's nothing personal.

it's not you.

it's me.

hjktjfghjkt

I really do want to talk to you, I just...can't. hjtk I don't know what it is. I really want this pass because I don't want my friendships to be affected by this little spell. I'm already bad at keeping up a conversation and communicating with others in general, so this doesn't help fdghtkj

:(

*cuddles with cat*

:-/

punches amy winehouse why did you fuck your life up you could have done so much more

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 03:22:30 GMT

I got so many songs from Regina Spektor and Amy Winehouse today it's not even funny. It's gonna take me like two days to get through all of this. But I love Amy Winehouse even if she fucked up and Regina....just takes me to other places with her voice. Amy had so much potential...

I APPLIED FOR JOSHUA AT KC. I haven't even finished, I'm on the third or fourth day in his turn. He's so much fun to play though. I don't seriously ship Joshua/Neku because Neku/Shiki caught my eye first, but I love, love love their interactions. c: So I kinda ship it. I ship Beat/Rhyme too. Am I weird for that?

I need to up some TWEWY icons.

I NEED TO FORM A SLEEP SCHEDULE TOO. I'VE BEEN WAKING UP AT 3 PM FOR THE PAST THREE DAYS AND GOING TO BED AT 6 AM. I keep taking Tylenol PM but I don't want to become dependent.

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO TALK ABOUT.

iiiii~ am crazy~

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 03:16:31 GMT

I bought The World Ends With You.

*plays....forever...*

I'm like 45 minutes in but I love it a lot. I play really slow too. I just met Rhyme and Beat.

I can't help thinking that fandom is my reason for automatic love but the MUSIC. The music is amazing. The title is so pretty too.

Mmm~ *plays all night!*

Anyone else on my f-list a fan?

Or have music tracks from it? I am dying for this music~ ♥

Edgeworth/Lulu FST;; Darts of Pleasure

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 08:25:31 GMT

I uploaded this like 2 weeks ago but never made a post?

Not many people on f-list are into Ledgeworth BUT THAT'S OKAY. I know a few of you like my music tastes and that's why I post these anyway. c:

This one isn't chronological or anything, it's just kinda there.

Darts of Pleasure FST

1. Pamphleteer - The Weakerthans
2. Brand New Colony - The Postal Service (I forgot why I even added this one.)
3. Darts of Pleasure - Frans Ferdinand
4. You Make Me Smile - Blue October
5. She's My Ride Home - Blue October
6. So Close - Jon McLaughlin (everyone knows it as the song from Enchanted)
7. Realize - Colbie Caillat
8. Same - Snow Patrol (I don't know why I added this either. :/)
9. Thank You - Dido
10. Get Sick Soon - Hello Saferide
11. 18th Floor Balcony - Blue October.
Bonus song!: Up Periscope - Drake Bell (...lmao)

I really fricken like Blue October.

...I just wrote a huge, long tl;dr post about college and not wanting to grow up and it was actually really well written and Firefox and switching between rich text and html and messing with the lj cut that didn't work deleted it. I was going to post this FST as public and the personal one friends-locked, thus two posts, so I copied this one...

I want to cry oh my god. It was so good, guys, like fucking fanfic worthy, and it really helped me vent but I really needed was the advice that should have come after it but now it's all gone. *rubs at eyes*

It's fucking 4:30 in the morning. I give up. I'll rewrite it tomorrow. *sobs*

i fucking love this icon

fuck

*passes out*

oh i just realized i can mix up my mood theme to feature tama and lulu. guess who's smart. :/

she has add but she isn't bored with me

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 04:43:28 GMT

1. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
2. List (and upload, if you feel like it) 5 songs that start with that letter.
3. Post that to your journal with these instructions.

Ashton gave me E. E FOR ERYN, RIGHT.

Blue October ♦ Edge Of Her Skin
Hot Hot Heat ♦ Elevator
Patrick Wolf ♦ Enchanted
The Matches ♦ Eryn Smith
Rilo Kiley ♦ The Execution Of All Things

LMFAO THIS IS MY 150TH POST.

~~I'll up them in anyone expresses interest~~~ UPPED.

AND BECAUSE I'M FEELING MEMEISH.

Give me a fandom and I'll tell you....

01. the first character i fell in love with
02. the character i never expected to love as much as i do now
03. the character everyone else loves that i don't
04. the character i love that everyone else hates
05. the character i would sleep with anytime
06. the character i'd want to be like
07. the character i'd slap
08. favorite overall character
09. three of my favorite characters
10. three of my least favorite characters
11. character i am most like
12. deep dark secret regarding this fandom
13. a pairing that i love
14. a pairing i despise
15. three favorite things about the fandom
16. three least favorite things about the fandom

Call me a conformist and I'll eat every snack food in your house. :i

i have no icon to proper relay the gayness of this lj layout

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 00:50:48 GMT

I definitely have a new layout.

lais_mendes lais_mendes lais_mendes

Complete and total proof that KC has eaten my other fandoms.

It's Lelouch and Kaoru, after a joke with Ashton (WHO ALSO DREW THE BEAUTIFUL ART, OKAY) about the two of them arguing over the hookers' clothes in GTA. Such a gay conversation. It was so beautiful. So we made them hookers, k.

There are even two fics to go along with their little frenemy escapades. I wrote one and Ashton wrote the other. There are here and only tidbits you need to know are that Edgeworth and Lulu are engaged and Zack and Kaoru are married.

ifghfjghkjt oh god lmfao

AND I MIGHT EVEN GET A LELOUCH MOODTHEME. OURAN HAS BEEN EATEN COMPLETELY. *SOBS*

i think i'm gonna take a nap

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 01:41:58 GMT

01. Reply to this post (ask for the meme...) and I will pick six of your icons.
02. Make a post and talk about the icons I chose.
03. Other people can then comment to you and make their own posts.
04. This will create a never-ending cycle of icon squee. Whoo!

ASHTON		NICOLLE

1	2		1	2
Ashton knows why this one is here, lmfao. Lulu's crazy laugh terrifies them both, Ashton and Kaoru, so I uploaded it for my own personal use.	MAO IS AWESOME AND INSANE AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH k.		After School Nightmare, character who's name I'm too lazy to look up. I thought the icon is really cute and despite not remember his name, he's one of my favorite characters. Without being too spoilerific, he just gets off the phone with the girl he loves who doesn't love him back and blushes and it is so bittersweet omg	Nodame Cantabile, Nodame and Chiaki?! Chiaka?! I haven't read anything on NC in so long and I never watched the anime or drama. I love their relationship, it's so stupid and heart-warming at once. ♥ I really hope they get a happy ending. c: I just thought this icon summed them up rather nicely.


3	4		3	4
Blades of Glory~ Chazz (also the name of my iPod) is so sexual and messed up and just...dumb. BoG is one of my favorite movies ever so I had to add Chazz making sexy eyes.	Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Bingley. He's adorable and it looks like he's eating his hat. CUTE?!?!		Kyou Kara Maou, LMFAO YUURI AND WOLFRAM. Wolfram is gay, that's pretty much been established and Yuuri is the too-bad-he's-straight King of Shin Maksomethin' who got their by being flushed by bullies. They are accidentally engaged because of the world's strange customs and Wolfram's love for Yuuri is kind sad. >: It focuses on the world and all the other characters more than their one-sided romance but I think a lot of the fans are in it for the fake!gay. c:	La Corda D'Oro, Kahoko Hino and Len Tsukimori. NICOLLE, IF YOU ARE NOT ALREADY IN THIS, YOU SHOULD BE. it's about music, Len is a violinist, and it's a non-retarded shoujo with lots and lots of pretty boys...and girls, actually. The girls are really really pretty without being love rivals, mm~ finds download links


5	6		5	6
LMFAO PHOENIX, PHOENIX WRIGHT. LMFAO THIS FACE THIS FACE LMFAO okay. it's here because it can be	Robert, Murphy Brown. He is such an unstable headcase. He becomes one of Murphy's many secretaries and can't take it and just loses his mind completely over it, lmfao.		Hiji-I Forgot His Full Name from Gintama. He's insane and works for the police people and likes to destroy things?! I don't even know, I got like 5 volumes in. :i	Cafe Kichijouji de, Maki and what's his face. A short, 3 volume manga about five attractive male waiters and their quirks like hygiene and super human strength. It's hilarious and pretty and one of my all-time favorites ever. It is...so funny and stupid, lmfao. I will forever love it.

ASHTON ASKED ME TO DO THIS MEME FOREVER AGO?! lmflamfahjty And now Nicolle just gave me it again so DOUBLE MEME POST. I used my awesome skills I learned in Web Design TO MAKE A TAAAABLE THAT IS REALLY UNEVENNNN, YEAAH. lmfao it fails so much.

WHOO~ I ALREADY MADE MY POST OF THE WEEK, LMAO.

lmfao i update so little :o

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 03:28:56 GMT

• I've been playing Harvest Moon, Animal Crossing, and Trials and Tribulations a lot lately. Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life. I FUCKING LOVE THAT GAME. *BREATHES*

• I decided that Larxene would be my munsona at KC. I'm really similar to her aside from her insanity. Cause, uhh...I like people.

• I remember the reason I never post on my personal LJ anymore. Because I'm always on KC, which I already knew, and my life isn't really that interesting?! It's really not. :-/ Seriously, I get out of the house to drive and go to the chiropractor. THAT'S IT. And maybe go on a food run with Jen.

• I SUCK AT DRIVING. Our main road outside my neighborhood is being turned into four lanes (two on each side, you know. idk what the proper term is.) so they have most of the road messed up on the sides. Well, my mom took me out driving at night and I'm still not that great at it. I keep going straight rather than conform with the road and I go off into this like dirt road next to it, all while thinking: "HMM THE ROAD IS REALLY ROUGH THEY'RE DOING A CRAPPY JOB AT THIS ROADWORK JEEZ."

My mom: Honey, you're going off the road.
Me: ...I GUESS I AM. *goes into the RIGHT road* WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?!
My mom: Well, I didn't want you to go spastic and veer into the other lane!
Me: A;SKFHGLH;JKFHFRY

lmfaflamfoa my mom. oh my god.

We went to McDonald's to get Sweet Tea and decided to get some munchies to eat. She got some chicken nuggets and I got double cheeseburger, which both facts are completely irrelevant to this story, okay. Well, we waited like 7 minutes for 2 Sweet Teas, 2 small fries, a burger, and nuggets. We're like :|. In the meantime, we talked about which part of the chicken the nuggets at Mickey D's come from and she said chicken balls. I laughed. c:

The guy finally comes, gives us our food, and my mom asks: "What sauce do you have?"

Guy: HAVE A NICE NIGHT. COME AGAIN SOON. :| *shuts door*
Mom: Hey... HEY. HEY.

HE DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AT US. So my mom is like grinning and I'm like FUCK. She makes me pull up to the little rest place you check your food at and she goes into the joint to get her sauce. I ate half of her fries while I waited. :i

Anyway, I'm too lazy to explain but this is what she said:

"Okay, I go in and there is the guy. I asked him if I could get sauce more than once. He ignores me and goes to the back. Finally some woman with an ice cream cone walks by and I'm like CAN I GET SOME SAUCE?! and she gives me some. I was going to ask to see the manager and then I realized that the guy who gave us our order is the manager. So I stole 30 napkins because I don't feel like buying more this week. I thought about mixing up their sugars too. *makes grabby hands*"

LMFOAJHG I LOVE MY MOM. LIKE I WAS LAUGHING FOREVER. She refers to her sauce as "her awards from Hell." I hope she enjoyed them.

Anyway the cop thing is a lie. Lmfao. No, I was driving straight and he was coming down the street to the right of me and suddenly turned on his lights and I freaked out in the OMG COP way. He turned the other way. I just needed an interesting cut. :i

• This food sucks, by the way. *eats a cold fry*

AYAYAYA I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M SO EXICTED ABOUT THIS YEAR

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 17:29:04 GMT

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW.

*SCREAMS*

16~!

edgeworth/lulu fst;; when the day met the night

Sun, 11 May 2008 07:17:07 GMT

When the Day Met the Night: Edgeworth/Lelouch FST

01. Sometimes - This Day & Age
02. The Other Way - Weezer
03. Maybe Then Someday - Abandoned Pools
04. When the Day Met the Night - Panic! At The Disco (it's a good song guys .-.)
05. Take My Hand - Dido
06. Listen To Your Heart - DHT (lmfao inside joke of sorts)
07. Tonight You Belong To Me - Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters from The Jerk (this is the best quality there is :-/)
08. Let's Give Them Something to Talk About - Bonnie Raitt
09. Everlasting Friend - Blue October
10. Built To Last - Melee
11. Stuttering - Ben's Brother
12. Oh, It Is Love - Hellogoodbye

DL HERE

G-Guys, I am so tired, I... *passes out*

please take the message that you taught me how to live at last

Sun, 11 May 2008 01:32:31 GMT

You ever have one of those days where you wish you just could just delete everything and redo it all?

I'm not even depressed or in a bad mood or anything. o_o I just feel like it.

*redoes profile again instead*

.—.

Freshman Saga is going smoothly. Very...very....smoothly. c:

I BOUGHT A 99-CENT BAG OF FLAMING HOT CHEETOS (MY SECOND BAG IN MY ENTIRE LIFE) AND IT'S TAKEN ME 3 HOURS TO EAT IT. I HAVE TO KEEP TAKING BREAKS AND I'M NOT EVEN ~~3/4~~ HALF-WAY THROUGH IT. HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE EAT THESE THINGS WITHOUT ANYTHING TO DRINK?! I'VE GONE THROUGH A MEDIUM-SIZED DRINK, A SLUSHIE, A BIG GLASS OF MILK, AND A BOTTLE OF WATER. NOTHING HELPS.

*...reaches for bag*

:-/

Edgeworth/Lulu; Cigarettes & Chocolate Milk...Tea, Rather.

Thu, 01 May 2008 04:04:42 GMT

LMFAO HI. SPAM. I WROTE FIC IN UNDER AN HOUR. OH MY GOD WHAT.

Cigarettes & Chocolate Milk...Tea, Rather.
UNBETA'D.
G.
Edgeworth/Lulu~!!

He notices the subtle things about Miles. The way he constantly adjusts his shoulders, the staggering way his eyes fall when he chides him, the weightlessness his bangs seem to possess, the way his jawline is outlined by the light from the small lamp on his office desk during their late night chats and how different it would seem if the light were to be provided by a different source.

Perhaps the moonlight, he thinks with his chin on his palm, watching the other man speak. Perhaps in my apartment as well.

The smirk that resists against his better judgment blossoms and Miles pauses. “Lelouch? Are you even listening? I know I’ve told you this before but that doesn’t mean you can block me out. …Lelouch?”

He clears his throat and adjusts his position. “Ah, yes. I know.”

He does know. He listened the first time he was told and he remembers every word. Just because he chose not abide by his advice does not mean that he did not hear it. He smiles again and Miles is clearly unamused.

“Then tell me. What am I talking about? Keep in mind, I have to ask Whitney these same questions. I never thought you’d be as absent-minded as she can be at times.”

“You are…” He clears his throat again, mouth suddenly dry. “You are, once again, advising me to take better care of myself.”

“Yes, and?”

“Because people care about me.”

“And?” Miles crosses his arms.

“…Edgeworth, what else is there?” He says, letting out a sigh and his chest feels considerably lighter. Once the air rushes back, the pressure does too. “It’s not as if it affects my health aside from the entire concept of dying. The Phoenix Downs, they heal completely—“

“Because people not only care, but are affected by losing you, no matter how many times it may happen. Do you recall each time you’ve died and how people have reacted?”

“Of course.”

“It’s not as if they are as desensitized to death as much you are. They repeat the experience each time as if it were the first. It’s...not pleasant.”

Well, of course it’s not pleasant, he thinks, it’s death.

“Alright,” Lelouch says, finally. He sets his hands on the tabletop and folds one over the other. “I understand. I really will try to be more considerate from this point on. I promise.”

There a look of doubt that flashes across Mile’s face for a brief moment before he settles into a slight smile. “Good. Tommy may be accustomed to loss as much as you are but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the rest of us are.”

What of Tommy?

He also notices the way that he speaks the name Edgeworth to his face and Miles behind his back. He notices the way that he doesn’t think of Tommy — the name, the face, the body, the person, the feelings, or the memories — when he’s near his best friend. He only concentrates on the weight he feels when they meet eyes that he hadn’t felt so strongly before. He fabricates memories and a future and keeps a conversation afloat. He feels guilt that he hasn’t fully realized himself or rather, he doesn’t want to acknowledge.

That perhaps, his boyfriend is just a fling and his best friend will last. That the love of his life will be the flavor of the week and a man he shares tea with on Wednesdays will be the one he never lets go of.

“…Now that I think about it,” Edgeworth continues. “You’ve witnessed those you care for dying here at the Kingdom — including me — and you’ve reacted the way any normal person would. I think the only thing that you’ve grown used to is the idea of you dying, not of passing on itself.”

“What if Phoenix and Tommy never arrived?”

The words are out before he’s completed his thought that was meant to only humor him, that should have never left his head. The surprise, rather than the words, stays inside and he knows that he can’t take it back as it simply defies nature and all that is respectable.

The shock on Miles’ face is evident so Lelouch smiles.

“Well, tell me. What would happen?”

He knows what would happen. They would have fallen in love despite how fairy tale-like the concept sounded. But he has to be politically correct, even with himself, so he reminds himself that if it weren’t for Phoenix then they would have never formed the bond they did.

Miles gathers himself and forces on a strong façade, the impression that he never lost his composure. He says in a clear yet somewhat quiet voice, “Everything.”

But Lelouch knows that that is not the case.

That Tommy would be the only thing different, that “everything” has already happened.

He smiles.

“Alright.”

FOR YOU, NICOLLE, BB. YOU'RE WONDERFUL. I LOVE YOU.

Tommy/Lelouch;; The Dirty Glass

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 01:39:18 GMT

Title: The Dirty Glass
Fandom: KC?
Pairing: Yoko/Lulu/Tommy.
Rating: PG-14?
Status: Unbeta'd
Dedication: To Lex and Ashton. ♥
Notes: It hurt writing this, LOL. They broke up. ...Temporarily. 8|
Summary: The image of her smile, previously burned into his mind, nearly made him gag.

Maybe it was the thrill of being with someone opposite of you — in body, soul, personality, and lifestyle. Maybe it was the element of danger and addition of passion that were universally associated with the idea of an “affair.”

Or maybe it was because something in Tommy Donnelly was more than a loud-mouthed, cocky criminal. And Lelouch didn’t know what that was but wanted to so badly — for reasons unknown as he’d had far fewer good experiences with the man than bad — that he’d risk everything to discover it.

So when the morning sunlight had streamed in through the curtains in a messy hotel room that smelled of cold pizza and sweat, he only laid there, not bothering to push off the arm wrapped around his waist.

He knew very well that it wasn’t his fiancé’s finger absentmindedly tracing patterns on his hip and it wasn’t her front against his back. She didn’t smell permanently of cigarettes and booze — not even close. Not to mention, if he ever were to hear her snore, she certainly wouldn’t sound like that.

The softness of the light contrasted heavily with the atmosphere of the night before — filled with heated arguments, empty threats, and unthrown punches. The naked body next to him strewn about the sheets told him all he needed to know about the final result. Still…at that point, he wasn’t sure if he should feel disgusted with himself or selfishly elated.

Yet, with Tommy’s shallow breaths feathering the back of his neck, he almost chose the second.

He thought about a pretty red-haired girl from parts of the world he’d never heard of with a set of breasts that some men would kill for (he was aware of that much.) He thought of how she felt…how she’d react. He remembered how forgiving she was and loving she was.

The image of her smile, previously burned into his mind, nearly made him gag.

The guilt sat in his stomach and after some time, he began to leave the bed to head towards the bathroom, but the arm tightened around him enough to prevent him for going anywhere.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” A sleepy, thickly accented voice mumbled into the pillow.

“A drink of water…I’m thirsty.” Lelouch replied softly, not bothering to look at him.

“…Fine. But you better come back.” Tommy dragged his arm away, unintentionally trailing his hand across Lelouch’s skin. He found the paths his fingers left were especially sensitive and he could still feel them tingle a short while after Tommy had curled back up in the blankets. He quickly took the opportunity to leave.

When he did reach the bathroom, he didn’t get sick like he was sure he would. He felt sick but physically, he wasn’t able to. So, instead, he only sat there, simply thinking. He could stay with Yoko, yes…but he whole-heartedly doubted he could ever look her straight in the eye again, let alone marry her. He’d lose all the trust he had built with her. He’d leave her disappointed like others had before him. With her, there would be little left to salvage.

But with Tommy…

Lelouch splashed water on his face and rubbed it much harder than necessary. He let his hands wander before they settled cupped around his mouth and nose.

He couldn’t think like that. There should only be Yoko. There’s should only be a “with” with “Yoko.” With that connotation, no other name should be acceptable. He had a commitment to her. He had much more with her than he did Tommy. What it was that he had more of was still in question — he wasn’t sure if it was of memories, moments, or magic…or any of those three.

Still, he peeked around the corner to look at Tommy tangled in the sheets, those excuses didn’t give a reason as to why they both were there and it certainly didn’t prevent the actions of the night prior from occurring.

…But with Tommy…

There would be love, intimacy, passion, and intensity. Lelouch knew the man was…sweet, in a light sense of the word, and that his feelings — both of theirs, really — were much more than some attraction at a glance. The memories with him were far more vivid, far more lively…they caused more emotion than he’d like to acknowledge. He hated to admit it but Tommy was…so much more than Yoko in so less time. Their relationship would improve once they came out of hiding, that he knew…but what others think? What would she think? How would he be judged in the end? Would people even recognize that he had found love and made a mistake the first time? That he had only convinced himself he was sure?

He loved her, he did…but it wasn’t the same. Nowhere close.

Lelouch hadn’t noticed that he hadn’t taken his eyes off of Tommy. He lingered still, conscious of his actions now, and swallowed hard. Leaning against the wall between the bathroom and bedroom, he slumped down and never once looked away.

It was so clear…his decision was already made before that night — whether he was fully aware of it or not.

There was only Tommy.

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 00:32:58 GMT

So help me, I ship Tommy Donnelly/Lelouch so hard that it hurts.

If I had one thing to thank Kingdom Crack for, it's that.

I'm making a damn FST for it. :|

Yeah, this is basically an entry for me and Lex to fangirl in. Continue on. :D

Sad, way too upbeat songs make me really sad. :(

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 02:06:45 GMT

Has anyone of my f-list finished Apollo Justice yet? I have a few questions for my fic. Not big ones, just little ones. :P

And general squealing. :D

• Is the city it's set in ever mentioned? I know before it was L.A....

• Does Apollo end up living with Trucy and Phoenix?

• Are there any other Edgeworth hints aside from the pink piano? And I couldn't help but squeal over the "the man must like pink things" line or whatever. Heeee. :D

"...and justice for all" by metallica reminds me of edgeworth 8| & since when did i listen to them?

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 06:01:27 GMT

ffffff

writing long fic.

Sci is betaing.

But I don't have someone who can check for characterization (I just typed "character I zation." What is wrong with me?)

Anyone willing to do it? >: All you do is read it and see if they characters are IC. No grammar or anything. This is my first PW fic and I've finished two games but I know what happens in Trials and Apollo Justice I'm close to finishing.

dfhghrjtgrhj it would helps lots 8(

Gosh. I'm sorry other fandoms. I still love you.

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 04:32:19 GMT

Hi, all. Back since Friday.

♣ Nice trip, had fun. Yup. It wasn't really Mexico that was the star, it was the cruise. The cruise was spectacular except for that-one-really-choppy-morning-where-EVERYONE-got-seasick. 8| We went to Cozumel and Chichen Itza with the Mayan sun god temple~ The rest was on sea.

Anyhow~

♣ Ouran, chapter 59.

[spoiler] ... ;~; Oh, Tama...Oh, Haruhi....

Oh, Hikaru...? 8| Never thought I'd see the day but I felt as bad for him as I did Tama. [/spoiler]

If anyone still needs links, I'll be happy to provide~

♣ I downloaded After School Nightmare.

I bought After School Nightmare five minutes after I finished. Why five minutes? I was sitting back in my chair going "...Wowww..." SPECTACULAR MANGA. ♥ I rec it to anyone. I hatehatehate horror anything but this was superb. Guhhhh. I can't get over it.

fjghtybtrhjy56

♣ I've been reaaal ficcy lately. Like ideas are all BAMBAMBAM, BITCH. I want to write them but I always forget. DX

I haven't been all capsy lately. I think Kingdom Crack eats it. 8|

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 21:15:39 GMT

LEAVING FOR MEXICO. BRB IN A WEEK.

& we don't care about their own faults

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 01:13:11 GMT

I've only played about 3 actual minutes of Apollo Justice so far but...

I love it so much.

At first I was all BEH NO PHOENIX POV. AHAHA I WAS PROVED WRONG.

I might prefer Apollo in the dorky boy way. He is just so...cute. I was to hug him so much and it's been 180 seconds. ♥ (Three minutes doesn't seem so long in that measurement! :O) Phoenix is always tops because he's Phoenix.

Oh God, Edgeworth. I miss you already. :C

...

:C

Edit: I didn't mention this is finals week. Thursday and Friday are the test days. And I'm going to Mexico on Friday. I am bringing my DS despite how much it will distract me — not even playing! Just thinking about the cases! — and the chance that my DS may be stolen in a foreign country. I'm gonna keep a hold of it and my red iPod with a little bag, not a bulky one cause I'd lose them both. :|

AM I ACTUALLY FORGETTING MY HISTORY STUDY SHEET TO PLAY THIS GAME? I THINK SO.